As we prepare to celebrate my dad’s 75th birthday, I have been reflecting on his influence in my life and in the lives of everyone fortunate enough to know him well. I take great pleasure in resurrecting this picture each fall to celebrate Halloween. Some may see a terrifying clown ready to trick-or-treat with her loving dad in tow, his cheeky beverage perhaps demonstrating his enthusiasm for the task. For me, though, this picture perfectly depicts my dad–my first and forever superhero. He is every bit as nerdy & unassuming as Clark Kent while possessing the strength & determination of Superman.

Distilling all that I have learned from my dad into a concise list seems an impossible task. Here are a few of the many lessons I have learned from Randy that I carry with me in my daily life and in my own parenting journey:

Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.

Although the sound of that familiar phrase can still evoke an eyeroll from me sometimes, even if I’m the one delivering it, I admire my dad for living a life that demonstrates this important fact. Not everything in life will be fun or even pleasant, but that should be expected. Just keep going.

It’s not too late.

In the seconds before the doors opened and I walked down the aisle with my dad on my wedding day, he said, “It’s not too late. You can still change your mind. We can turn around and walk out those doors instead.” I’ll never know if that was a serious offer, but it was perfect advice. My dad provides calm perspective when it’s easy to get caught up in the details and feel trapped by the momentum of current circumstances.

Look out for your people.

Nothing makes my dad more emotional than seeing suffering in the people he loves. Whether it is recounting an accident with my sister, learning about the fragility of life during my medical challenges, or hearing the brutal life lessons his grandchildren learn in a sometimes cruel world, he loves deeply and protects his people fiercely. He can provide, at a moment’s notice, the exact number of employees who depend on him for their livelihood, like the captain of a ship naming the souls on board his vessel. He operates with integrity, always choosing to do the right thing and wanting the best for everyone involved.

Remember the bulldozer.

Don’t let fear prevent you from experiencing fun. I love the mischievous smile my dad gets when he is pushing someone outside of their comfort zone. He stuck Andy on a helicopter tour of Manhattan. He made me climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Seeking adventure is required, and Randy is always there to provide the extra push.

Don’t be a fan when you can be a fanatic.

My dad has thrown his support and interest behind every single endeavor my sister and I have ever undertaken, and now he continues to do the same with his grandchildren. Our passions have led him to love everything from women’s soccer to TubaChristmas and Taylor Swift. He followed us to football games, bowl games, and, eventually the Rose Bowl, as he entrenched himself in Purdue fandom and became a wholehearted supporter of the AAMB. He eagerly jumped on the Caitlin Clark bandwagon as Ellie’s enthusiasm for basketball bloomed. He may not fully understand the game, but that won’t stop him from having a Google alert set for updates or from finding ways to grow Ellie’s interest in the sport. He is fueled by other people’s genuine passion, and he takes every opportunity to join in on the fun.

Seeing my dad embrace his role as “Grumpa” warms my heart. The promotion from parent to grandparent seems to have washed away any self-critical feelings of inadequacy that are inherent in parenting, and he is free to view his progeny with the bias only afforded a grandparent. He delights in watching his five favorite young people navigate the world, his joy evident with each accomplishment, insight, milestone, and dad joke. I hope he can see himself in each of them, his legacy continuing, bringing his lessons, his best qualities, and his unfailing wisdom into a new generation.

Happy Birthday, Dad! I hope we have many more years to enjoy together, but you’ve already won the race. Every trip around the sun from this point forward is a victory lap. We’re all cheering with you. Let’s drink the milk, climb the fence, and keep the celebration going!

Happy Birthday!

Building Meaningful Relationships Around the Fire